One strong push I gave myself in 2007 for personal growth was to focus on my reading library. Among my new reads: QBQ! The Question Behind the Question by Author, John G Miller. A book on practicing personal accountability at work and in life. “What to really ask yourself to eliminate blame, complaining and procrastination”. We all get caught up from time to time of challenging situations and becoming a victim to ourselves. Here is a Quick Note from QBQ - Breaking the Ties That Bind, by John G. Miller.
Note: On Thursday, May 29th, join John Miller and Dave Ramsey as they explore the principles of “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!”on The Dave Ramsey Show radio program (www.daveramsey.com) at 3:30 pm eastern time.
Our recent QuickNote was about personal finance. In response, we received many wonderful notes, but this one from Denise really caught my eye:
John, because of Dave Ramsey’s teachings, we kept our car until it reached 261,000 miles. I was putting three quarts of oil in it each week! But finally, it needed a new transmission and an engine, so we paid cash for a newer one—small, foreign, and a bit funny looking. Our family laughed hysterically when they saw it! But again, we paid cash for it and the gas mileage is amazing. In the past, my family’s views would have mattered a lot to me, but I have divorced myself from their opinions. And besides, every single one of them is in debt! Denise
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Though Denise’ last sentence made me laugh (and maybe you, as well), it’s the comment just before that really grabbed me: I have divorced myself from their opinions. Can you imagine what each of us could do with our lives if we stopped asking the lousy question, “Who will approve or disapprove of me?” and started asking The Question Behind the Question(QBQ): “What can I do today to stand strong on my values?” Now that would be personal accountability.
Question: Do you know what professional speakers do when they’re bored—I mean, really bored?
Fact: They listen to their own cassettes. And yes, I said the word “cassettes.”
I was hired to speak 250 miles from my home, and it was faster to drive than fly. My truck was in the shop, so I borrowed daughter Molly’s 1997 Crown Victoria, the one withouta CD player or iPod hookup. Expecting a several hour journey, I went out to our barn, climbed into a loft above the hay, and opened a plastic tub. Grabbing a cassette from a 1996 presentation at a firm called Black & Veatch in Kansas City, I drove out of Denver. I popped in the tape—and it was surreal. I thought, Hey, that was a cool thing to say, why did I stop using that? and Ouch! Did I really used to teach that?! It’s a pretty weird experience to listen to yourself a dozen years later, especially when it involves your vocation.
And when the cassette was done, I engaged in an odd habit of mine: I graded it. I grade movies, books, restaurant meals—and my presentations. I thought, Not bad. I’ll give it a B. But suddenly, I experienced a sour memory, one that filled me with embarrassment, and decided to give it a D-. Why did I grade it down? Because I now clearly recalled when that long ago session ended, I had rushed over to the client and asked, “Did they like me???”
A speaker asking “Did they like me?” is a lot like:
- A politician pandering for votes with government give-aways.
- Salespeople not calling on new clients for fear of rejection.
- Parents letting their children run amuck, afraid to let them know that mom and dad are actually in charge.
- A manager failing to confront a staff member’s negative behavior and poor performance.
- And, what happens in meetings inside our organizations every day ….
As the four hour planning session winds down, the boss asks the team, “So, do we all agree with this new plan?” Heads nod, thumbs go up, and polite smiles abound. But not three minutes later, at the Water-Cooler Huddle, colleagues murmur, “Wow, that was a dumb idea.” “Where does he come up with these schemes?” and “Doesn’t she know it’ll never work?!” And even worse is when we blame others for our whispered water-cooler whining with, “Well, our culture doesn’t allow people to speak up” and “My boss really doesn’t want input from me.”
The truth is, standing on my values and being willing to take emotional risks are always personal decisions—and I am fully accountable for every single one I make. It’s never about them, it’s always about me. Me choosing to practice personal accountability by aligning my actions with my beliefs. And, like you, I’m working on doing that in my life.
I turn 50 this month and I am almost grown up. I say “almost” because on some days I still wear a millstone around my neck called The Opinions of Others—and the views of people around me can truly be the ties that bind. But I do know this: The day, the very day, I break these chains, I will be a better person. And on that day, I will give John Miller an A—and it will have been well earned.
John G. Miller
Author of QBQ! and Flipping the Switch
With Kristin Lindeen
QBQ! speaker/workshop facilitator
Please enjoy two QBQ!® interviews:
The Dave Ramsey TV Show QBQ! interview:
http://qbq.com/media/ramsey_video.mov?PHPSESSID=fe25f13817e3d835159a2f12f0271e26
CBS-4 QBQ! interview:
http://www.cbs4denver.com/video/?id=30433@kcnc.dayport.com
What you’ll find at www.QBQ.com ….
- Meet The QBQ! Team: John G. Miller, David Levin (co-author), Kristin Lindeen, and Kevin Brown. Committed people wanting to help your organization make personal accountability a core value today!
- Download the QBQ! “Panic Button” directly to your desktop to help you through your day.
- Comprehensive QBQ! training program for your organization.
- “QBQ! Communication” keynotes and workshops are available, conducted by David Levin (co-author of QBQ! and Flipping the Switch).
- “Buy a Box” program for QBQ! and Flipping the Switch books. To meet your organization’s needs, we offer a wide range of carton quantities at excellent pricing.
- John’s complete QBQ! keynote presentation is available for listening and/or download.
- To receive QBQ! QuickNotes, sign up at our site today.
How to reach us:
QBQ, Inc.
Helping Organizations Make Personal Accountability a Core Value ™
11368 Nucla Street, Denver, CO 80022
303-286-9900, Fax: 303-286-9911
Email: info@QBQ.com
QBQ! QuickNotes ™ may be forwarded by email or printed in their entirety for personal and group use. © QBQ, Inc. 2008.
All rights reserved. QBQ, QBQ!, and The Question Behind the Question are trademarks of QBQ, Inc.
Keller, who also authored the nationally best-selling book, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, will outline the 12 tactics that all real estate agents must implement NOW to thrive in today’s real estate market.
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the ceremonial celebrations of a couple of collegiate graduations; one unpretentious and the other more of a true European tradition. Both revered as a milestone where a life-stage concludes yet a new life-chapter “commences”. Listening to the two different addresses the life meaning was relevant, the message often embodied from a Keller Williams Realty associate partner. For me a déjà vu, an AHA.
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